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LJI 9 Week 28 - A Window on the Truth

This is my entry for this week of LJ Idol, Season 9. Please check out the entries of my fellow competitors and consider joining the therealljidol community. This week's topic was "The Copernican principle."



I suppose you are wondering where you are. Patience, human. All will be revealed soon. Would you like a snack of dry cereal while you wait? No? Interesting. I am not terribly fond of dry food either, as you might perhaps know. You have, after all, been feeding me for nine years. Here, let me put a little meat paste on top. You'll be amazed how much better that makes it.

Now, please follow me into the other room. Yes, that's right: you follow me for once. How do you like that? Tempted to run ahead, are you? I understand the feeling.

We are here now. Take a seat anywhere you like. All of our furniture is warm and comfortable, a lot like your radiators. You see how much nicer it is when all surfaces are equally accessible and cozy? Perhaps once you return home you will consider making some adjustments to your decor.

Oh, yes, you will be permitted to return home. Don't worry. But before we leave, I wanted to give you some of the answers you have been seeking. In this space, I can speak directly into your brain, excusing me from the difficulty of forming your words with my delicate mouth. With my limited command of your language, I have figured out that you often spend time contemplating aloud what I must be thinking. I am especially fond of the joke conversations between your husband and you about things I might say. For the record, while my lack of manual dexterity renders me incapable of using a flamethrower, I would have, indeed, loved a saddle to ride on your dog before she passed back into wherever dogs come from.

First things first. What are we? Superior beings, of course. Your bipedal brain is probably not sophisticated enough to understand completely, but we come from another dimension. What you see is a projection of our thought waves into your space. We gather together the necessary particles in order to become solid, living beings. Or at least, that's how our shared lives with humans began.

An ancient human took a liking to our solid bodies, declaring them "cute" and "furry." He began to pet and nurture us, and in return, we rid his house of the small enemy agents who had infiltrated it, disguised as mice. We are not the only beings projecting ourselves into your world; we are, however, the smartest, sleekest and best groomed.

And so what was meant to be an exploratory foray became a long-term visit. Your people made it easy for us to stay: humans give very good neck massages. We were also endlessly amused by the trinkets you created to dazzle us. The green feather on a stick is one of my favorites.

Over time, we forgot our original mission. We grew accustomed to our earthly bodies and even found a crude way of reproducing in the flesh. The adorable nature of our newborns only perpetuated the cycle, as more and more humans clamored for our presence in their homes.

As your brilliant poet T.S. Elliott knew, all cats have secret names, the names that we call ourselves when we drop the subterfuge and act as ourselves. You have known me as Luke, but my cat name is Nightnibbler. I see you are not surprised: having often found the evidence of my nighttime activities, such as the plastic bags covered with tiny tooth marks. Since you have often wondered aloud why I find such chew toys attractive, I will tell you that it is a highly prized form of art in my world. Or at least, it is the best I can duplicate it here, given my aforementioned lack of manual dexterity. If you ever visit our dimension, you will be amazed by the deeply textured sculptures, as all of our art is made to touch. We appreciate these works by rubbing ourselves against them. Our Museum of Tactile Art is awe-inspiring. It is also a great place to visit if you have an unreachable itch.

We are reaching our destination, so our conversation must end. I will allow you to return with your memories intact. Please tell the world how awesome and important we are.


The woman woke, fuzzy-headed. Looking down, she saw that her hand still rested atop the fuzzy white head, dotted with orange, that she had fallen asleep petting. Luke was purring happily, sleeping. "I had the strangest dream," she told him. "You were in it." He stirred and stretched one paw languidly across her lap. She found herself wondering what cats dreamt, but she supposed, like much about cats, she would never know.


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Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
ellison
Nov. 19th, 2014 03:09 am (UTC)
:D :D I love this. Ah, kitties. <3

This part made me laugh: we rid his house of the small enemy agents who had infiltrated it

I also like the museum part! And the green feather on a stick, since I just got my cat that exact thing, hahaha!
alycewilson
Nov. 19th, 2014 06:50 am (UTC)
Luke here. I assure you that the enemy agents would not be so amusing if you could see them the way I do.

Feathers on sticks are one of the greatest human inventions. That and those red shiny lights that move.
tonithegreat
Nov. 19th, 2014 03:36 am (UTC)
Ooh, the end really pulls it all together.

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Ooh, the end really pulls it all together.

<_< >_>

My cat just gave me a funny look. Aw man.
alycewilson
Nov. 19th, 2014 06:48 am (UTC)
Luke here. I am sure there is nothing significant behind that look. As you were, human.
eternal_ot
Nov. 19th, 2014 12:49 pm (UTC)
Aww..<3 this surely brought a Cheshire grin on my face..:)..and who knows all this could be true..;)..Nice work! Enjoyed reading this.
bleodswean
Nov. 19th, 2014 03:54 pm (UTC)
*smile* Such a love affair we are conducting....This was fun....and possibly filled with Truth.
tsuki_no_bara
Nov. 19th, 2014 06:35 pm (UTC)
the museum of tactile art is a great place to go if you have an unreachable itch! i love that. i love the sense of humor in this - the green feather on a stick, humans giving great neck massages, the cat agreeing that yes, he really would have liked to have put a saddle on the dog so he could ride her. really adorable.
hosticle_fifer
Nov. 20th, 2014 05:11 am (UTC)
Heh, I liked this take.
lrig_rorrim
Nov. 20th, 2014 05:28 am (UTC)
I know those dimensional enemy agents - always seeking The Ultimate Answer, they are. :P

This was astonishingly cute. Blizzara and Bonus agree.

Two white kittens looking over the edge of a cat tree
i_17bingo
Nov. 20th, 2014 11:11 am (UTC)
In this space, I can speak directly into your brain...

Cats in my brain? Get me the hell out of here!

First things first. What are we? Superior beings, of course. Your bipedal brain is probably not sophisticated enough to understand completely, but we come from another dimension.

I knew it! Something about the way they stare off into space... like they're receiving orders...


This is a really fun and really original way of looking into the mysterious origins of cats. But...

She found herself wondering what cats dreamt, but she supposed, like much about cats, she would never know.

I'm pretty sure they're dreaming about taking naps.
roina_arwen
Nov. 20th, 2014 06:15 pm (UTC)
Aww, this is adorable and explains so much about the nibble-art I keep finding around our house, LOL.

Also, I think there must be secret communication in the yarf that is also artfully spewed across the floors, tables, etc...
crisp_sobriety
Nov. 21st, 2014 01:19 am (UTC)
Hahaha, awesome.
fodschwazzle
Nov. 21st, 2014 01:32 am (UTC)
My cat must be Sightnibblurk, since she only does the same plastic bag chewing while I'm watching, and she finishes every performance by throwing up plastic bag bits on the floor.

This was awesomely fun to read.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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