While walking my dog, Una, I recently came upon a very intriguing find. Or rather, dozens of them. Picking up a slip of paper, I noticed it had writing on it.
Then I realized that oodles of similar slips were scattered around the sidewalk, so I dashed around and collected them all. Apparently, they were used for a co-ed Truth or Dare game, probably at a party. Afterwards, someone decided that, rather than throw them in a nice, secure trash can, it was a good idea to dump them in the street.
So here are the Truth and Dare questions and commands, with original spelling, and my responses. If you'd like to answer the same questions, cut and paste them into your own blog, with your own answers (preferably with a brief explanatory paragraph).
1. I dare you to renact a scence from a movie until someone guesses the movie you chose.
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
2. Could you ever have 2 companions at the same time. Why?
Sure, I think most people are capable of maintaining more than one friendship at a time. That's what you meant, right?
3. Have you ever gone skinny-dipped? When & where?
Yes, I have gone skinny-dipping. (Ahem.) With fellow camp counselors and with hippies.
4. If you could make a movie, what would it be about?
A documentary about anime fans would be fun.
5. Who is your BFF, why? How did you meet and how long have you known each other?
My husband. Through mutual friends about 8 years ago (we've been together for 5).
6. I dare you to do 7 minutes of heaven of your choice!!
Cool. I'll take Nirvana for 7 minutes, please.
7. What kind of girl or guy would you get wit? Fat or skinny?
<snicker> "Fat or skinny" isn't as important as "smart or stupid." Preferably, someone who can spell "with."
8. Have you ever had a threesum? and if you could with who?
Yes, I can sum up three numbers. Who couldn't?
9. What do you like/dislike about your body? What would you change (no money an object)?
I used to dislike my hips & thighs. Now I accept them. I am, however, trying to shape up.
10. What's your favorite animal? Why?
I love polar bears. Also, our dog, Una, and our kitty, Luke.
11. If you could dye your hair a crazy color for a day what would it be and why?
I once dyed it bright orange with some spray-in stuff for Halloween, to be Cyndi Lauper.
12. I dare you to go take a shower with the person of your choice.
You can only comfortably get one person in our shower. Plus, I'm the only one here.
13. If you could get anything painted what would it be. Why?
I'd have a contemporary painter do an original work for me. Because it would be a great addition to our decor.
14. Would you go skydiving?
No! I have trouble just jumping off a high dive.
15. Have you ever cheated? Who? Why?
Yes, on Leechboy. Because he was a controlling jerk, and I didn't have the guts to leave him.
16. If you were stuck on an island and had to kill 20 others on the island to get off and survive, would you (the rest of the people)?
Twenty people? Not just one? I mean, the answer would still be no, but 20?
17. What's your horoscope and why?
Virgo. Because I was born in September.
18. Have you ever broke in someones house and robbed them? Who why?
Why not 20 houses? No!
19. What's one thing you've always wanted to do but haven't?
Published a book with a traditional publisher. (Soon, baby!)
20. Dare you to make out with the person next to you.
Really? OK, Una, pucker up!
21. Would you choose drugs over ur boyfriend or girlfriend?
No. And if your answer is yes, please seek help.
22. I dare you too strip for money either nude or down to underwear.
How much money?
23. What's the crazyest dream you have ever had?
That everyone would learn to spell "craziest." Also, that I went to the White House and ate a chicken dinner with the Bushes.
24. Have you ever broken a bone? Story?
Yes, my toe. My brother accidentally broke it when we were little. He stepped on my bare foot in his snow boots.
25. Who would you havnt and why?
What? Do you speak English?
26. How many licks does it take?
One... two... three. Three.
27. Dare you to get a makeover.
Cool. When can we start? Just don't make me look like those Orange County housewives.
28. What's the earliest childhood memory can you remember.
Holding my brother's hand when he was still in the crib. I was about 2 1/2.
29. Take 2 shots right now!
Um... yeah... that would be a bad idea.
30. What super power would you have and why?
The ability to manipulate time.
31. Would you rather burn to or freeze to death?
Neither, please! Do. Not. Want.
32. How many sexual partners have you had? entire life.
Only one who really matters: my husband, The Gryphon.
33. Where do you bank? How much do you have to your name?
Do you also want my PIN? I mean, really!
34. I dare you to go make out with someone outside.
The only people outside right now are school kids. Please seek help.
35. Straight? Bixsexual? Gay?
I have friends in all three categories. Don't make me choose between them.
36. Would you ever become a raper, or rocker?
Whoa! This is why spelling is so important. No, never a raper. Nor a rapper. Rocker, maybe.
37. What's your worst habbit?
Correcting people's spelling and grammar. It's habit.
38. What was your longest relationship? With who?
With my mother. I've known her since I was an egg. And it's whom.
39. Would you ever have sex in a public place?
Does a field count? If so, yes.
40. What's your favorite childhood toy?
41. Get up and dance you sober bitch!
Just because I wouldn't do the shots, there's no reason to be rude.
42. Have you ever f****ed in a pod?
With a pea? A body snatcher? Be specific.
43. What's your favorite memory?
44. If you haven't alredy would you make a porn? have you?
I'm sorry, but "a porn"? Do you, in fact, speak any English at all? The answers: no and no.
45. does watching porn turn you on? what kind?
I'm turned on by people who speak (and write) proper English.
46. How much money would it take for you to face your biggest fear? What is it?
One million dollars. I'm afraid of cute puppies. Can has million dollars now? And puppies?
47. Do you believe in heaven or hell? Why?
Not as such, but I do believe our spirits carry on. Why? Just a feeling.
48. What's your favorite cartoon?
49. What's the best date you've ever been on? with who/where?
My first date with my husband. It wasn't so much the "where" as the "who."
50. Are you going to school? What is/was your fav. class and why?
I decided a master's degree was enough. My favorite class? English!
51. What's the biggest injury you've ever had?
Probably the deep muscle injury to my trapezius from doing a shoulder roll wrong in Jung Sim Do class. It still hurts, more than a decade later.
52. What is your worst sexual (kissing counts) expeirience? describe. Who?
If kissing counts, I'll say the first time I French kissed a boy. It was icky.
53. What famous person would you f***?
Johnny Depp is pretty fetching, but we're both taken.
54. What's your fav. book and why?
So many books I could mention, but I feel a personal connection to Alice in Wonderland.
55. If you had to have an STD for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I would rather use a condom, because you really don't get to choose such things.
56. Choose someone to play truth or dare with.
I choose you!
57. I dare you call the person to your right a c***!
Neither my dog nor cat deserve to be called that. Sorry.
58. How drunk/high are you?
I was about to ask you the same thing...
59. DARE - Go in the closet with a girl of ur choice. Do anything 10 mins. Then come out and say what u did! "DONT LIE! LOL!!!"
Since I'm the only girl around, I went into the closet and did a little organizing. Sexy!
60. If every light was green how fast would u go? mph?
Just miles per hour? What if I want to gauge my speed by parsecs per second? Then again, with my magic time-control abilities, I guess I shouldn't quibble.
61. What religion are you? Why?
62. Favorite love story?
If I say "that of me and my husband" again, will that be too icky sweet?
62. Funniest quote you can think of?
"Five years ago I was a four-stone apology. Today I am two separate gorillas."
- The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band, "Mr. Apollo" [LINK HAS MUSIC]
63. What's your fav. movie and why?
Quite partial to The Princess Bride. It's got everything: romance, humor, action, and great catch phrases!
64. What is your political party? Why?
I'm a registered Democrat. Because liberals rock. And because I'm not rich enough to be a Republican.
65. Kiss the person to your left.
Again with the kissing! OK, Luke, your turn. Smootches!
66. Are you afraid of death? Why?
Not really. Because like I said, I believe that our spirits carry on. Doesn't mean I'm terribly looking forward to it, though.
67. Fav. board game?
Apples to Apples is fun with the right crowd (though I suppose that's technically a card game).
68. Whats your worst fear?
Like I said, cute puppies. Especially when they lick my face. Terrifying. Utterly terrifying.
Truth or Dare isn't much different than when I last played it.