A snowy morning between the storms.
How to Turn a Routine Morning into a 4-Hour Ordeal
- Leave the house late, ensuring you will get stuck behind traffic and make it to class just seconds before the instructor.
- Realize that you forgot to bring the packages that need to be mailed. Resolve to return for them after class.
- Be confused that only four people have shown up for class: and this is BETWEEN snow storms.
- Enjoy the water aerobics class with an unusually spacious pool, not realizing this will be the best moment of the morning.
- Stop at the nearby grocery store to get the type of ice cream and whole-wheat waffles you like. Get stuck in a long line and wish that your regular grocery store carried these items.
- Discover a message on your cell phone, left while you were in class. It is work.
- Call work and find out you forgot to upload last night's assignment. Promise them you'll return home and upload it ASAP.
- Let dog out. Knowing you'll be leaving soon, feel guilty that she's overjoyed at your return.
- Back home, upload the assignment and write personal notes to the three people you're mailing copies of Idol Musings. Also grab the already-packed birthday package for Dad which you were unable to deliver in person last weekend. (Thanks, snow.)
- As you're heading out, realize there's a moving truck blocking the street. Zip down an alleyway in order to get around it.
- Realize that, despite the fact that (miracle upon miracles) the township actually plowed the alleyway this storm, they did not plow it enough. Get stuck.
- High-tail it back to the moving truck, demanding they help push your car because they're the reason you went that way. Get told by one of the guys, "We'll help, but you have to stop yelling at me." Fume silently.
- After the car has been freed, learn from the movers that their driver moved the truck to unblock the road. Thank them and get on your way.
- Stop at the bank to deposit a check. Choose the wrong lane and sit there for an extra 15 minutes. At least you brought a book to read.
- Discover a packed curb next to the post office and park a block away, lugging your packages through the slush.
- Find the right size envelopes for the books, address them. Stand in a somewhat moderate line.
- Wonder what mysterious task the person ahead of you is trying to accomplish, considering that it seems to take five different types of paperwork for an oversized box. Wonder why the person feels compelled to tell the post office employee the complete box's contents: "shoes for the kids," "Doritos," etc. Where are they sending it? Space?
- After mailing the packages, head to your regular grocery store and discover the only space is on the far side of the lot. Get a forboding feeling.
- Walk up and down the aisles, avoiding the many shoppers and studiously crossing off items from your list.
- Choose the shortest line, forgetting your two rules: never choose a lane with a male checker and never get behind an elderly person (both of which tend to be time wasters). Feel chagrined when the women in the neck brace ahead of you is apparently older than she looks and argues with the checker about the "buy one, get one free" coupon she'd apparently misread. Sigh.
- Look at your phone and realize you have 10 minutes to get home, unpack the groceries, prepare a lunch and start your afternoon assignment. Impossible.
- Realize on the way out of the store that you forgot the chick peas for tonight's minestrone. Resolve to use dried black soy beans from the cupboard instead.
- Field a call from the landlord telling you he's stopping by to collect the rent, but he's going to the grocery store first. Warn him it will take twice as long as he expects.
- Get greeted by the still-enthusiastic dog, unpack the groceries, prepare lunch, start the beans soaking, and call the landlord to let him know you're home.
- Feed the cat and dog. Get the computer set up for your assignment. Realize you're starting 30 minutes late.
And that's why my afternoon transcription assignment was late today. Fortunately, I only had to explain to my editor about getting stuck in the snow, and that seemed a sufficient explanation.
There's no such thing as a quick errand just before a snow storm.