What I've Learned so Far
- Newborn infants look distorted and strange. Most of their skin discolorations and blemishes are no big deal.
- Infants poop a lot, and it doesn't even look like poop (sort of like yellow water, apparently).
- Babies can imitate facial expressions almost immediately. (Can't wait to try this.)
- Human penises require far more care than I ever realized, whether circumsized or not.
- Newborn infants can't regulate their own body temperature, which is why I need to get the AC in my car fixed.
- Babies respond more to voices heard while they're in the womb, such as the mother and father. I'm worried this means my baby boy will have fond memories of Sean Hannity (whose show I transcribe every night). Hopefully, he'll favor Anderson Cooper (whose show I also transcribe.)
- We're not the only new parents with lots of silly questions.
- We could have brought our dog's ragged teddy bear for diapering practice: someone else brought a toddler-sized monkey!
- The Gryphon is much better at diapering and swaddling than I. An Otakon staffer suggests this can be my excuse to have him do those tasks more often.
There's more to know about babies than I ever realized.