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I Mean, Ewww!

So I'm waddling down the street today, on the way to mail the bills I figured I ought to pay before going into labor. Una is sniffing happily next to me, as I pause periodically to pull down the maternity tank top that fit a lot better before the baby started moving downward.

A young, heavyset guy, sitting on some steps, asks me, "Having a boy?"

Yes, I told him, a bit surprised but grateful he didn't ask the usual stupid questions or inquire whether I was having twins. "Any time now."

"Is it your first?" he correctly surmised.

I told him yes, that it had taken me a while to find the right guy, but what can you do?

"He still in the picture?" he asked me.

"Yes, he's my husband," I said, wondering why the wedding ring on a chain around my neck wasn't enough of a signal.

"And you're going to stay with him?"

Suddenly, the whole conversation became clear to me. He wasn't just making conversation; this was his version of a pick-up line. Maybe that's why he was hanging out on a stoop in front of an unoccupied house near the bus stop: to hit on pregnant women (there are several in my neighborhood right now).

Wordlessly, I pulled Una after me and waddled away. Fortunately, by the time we'd mailed the letters and returned, he was gone, back to underneath whatever rock he calls home.

Some guys have super bad mojo.

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( 47 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jun. 8th, 2010 04:34 pm (UTC)
Grimace. The verb, not the noun.

I'll have to use that in a story some time.
Jun. 8th, 2010 04:38 pm (UTC)
Re: Grimace. The verb, not the noun.
You're more than welcome. And if you do, please let me read it!
Re: Grimace. The verb, not the noun. - msstacy13 - Jun. 8th, 2010 04:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Grimace. The verb, not the noun. - alycewilson - Jun. 8th, 2010 05:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Grimace. The verb, not the noun. - msstacy13 - Jun. 8th, 2010 06:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
OH, CRIPES!!! - msstacy13 - Jun. 8th, 2010 06:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: OH, CRIPES!!! - alycewilson - Jun. 8th, 2010 10:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: OH, CRIPES!!! - msstacy13 - Jun. 9th, 2010 09:07 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: OH, CRIPES!!! - alycewilson - Jun. 9th, 2010 09:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 8th, 2010 04:34 pm (UTC)
That is just wrong. It might have been a good thing you had Una with you. I can't wait to hear about your little man. At this point, I can't believe mine is 15 months now.
Jun. 8th, 2010 04:39 pm (UTC)
Wow, 15 months! They grow fast.

Una would defend me, no doubt. I also carry pepper spray when I walk her.
Jun. 8th, 2010 04:44 pm (UTC)
"He still in the picture?" he asked me.

"Yes, he's my husband," I said, wondering why the wedding ring on a chain around my neck wasn't enough of a signal.

"And you're going to stay with him?"


That is the most surreal thing I have ever heard.

And I need to take a shower just from reading it.

You're better people than I am as I would have pepper sprayed him on principle.

Jun. 8th, 2010 05:10 pm (UTC)
LOL! But then I would have had to run away, which at this stage in the pregnancy is not terribly easy.
Jun. 8th, 2010 05:05 pm (UTC)
If that's his idea of a good way to pick up women, no wonder he's finding himself sitting on the stoops of abandoned buildings. Ugh.
Jun. 8th, 2010 05:08 pm (UTC)
For real. That was just bizarre.
(no subject) - msstacy13 - Jun. 8th, 2010 06:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 8th, 2010 05:10 pm (UTC)

Just EWWWWW! Wow! some people.

I've been hit on by a less than desirable person before and that's yucky but.. I think that dude takes the cake!
Jun. 8th, 2010 05:14 pm (UTC)
I had heard there are some guys out there who are particularly interested in pregnant women, but this was the first time I'd encountered it.
Jun. 8th, 2010 05:20 pm (UTC)
Good grief!
Jun. 8th, 2010 10:11 pm (UTC)
He needs some serious help.
Jun. 8th, 2010 05:59 pm (UTC)
Ok, now that takes the cake. UGH!
Jun. 8th, 2010 10:12 pm (UTC)
It was both shocking and a bit upsetting, honestly.
Jun. 8th, 2010 06:10 pm (UTC)

I mean, I've heard of this fetish, but...

*envisions delivering pride-obliterating bitchslap to the jerk who has the nerve to ask "are you going to stay with him".*

Edited at 2010-06-08 06:11 pm (UTC)
Jun. 8th, 2010 10:12 pm (UTC)
Wish I knew where he lived so I could send you to his house!
Jun. 8th, 2010 07:34 pm (UTC)
oh ewwwwwwwww...what a louse!
Jun. 8th, 2010 10:09 pm (UTC)
He was pretty creepy.
Jun. 8th, 2010 10:19 pm (UTC)
Jun. 8th, 2010 10:23 pm (UTC)
Makes me glad I take pepper spray with me.
Jun. 8th, 2010 10:39 pm (UTC)
I'm really sorry but that was laugh out loud funny-- right out of a sitcom. Except in a sitcom, the guy would probably be a construction worker.
Jun. 8th, 2010 10:55 pm (UTC)
It was funny. And yes, I could hear that on a sit-com. In that case, the pregnant woman would have had a funny rejoinder. I wish I had writers!
Jun. 9th, 2010 02:01 am (UTC)
Ahh, a preger fetishist! You lucky gal! They're more common than you'd think. I am ashamed to say that my husband's ex-wife actually took one up on his offer (helped that he made a lot of money). She's married to him today, and it takes all the strength in me not to make cracks about it whenever he's around (we try to play nice in front of the kids). I can't tell you how many preger fetish jokes I've had to stifle in the name of being a responsible grown-up. It sucks.
Jun. 9th, 2010 02:02 am (UTC)
Wow. Just how desperate was she?
(no subject) - thenew20s37 - Jun. 9th, 2010 08:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - alycewilson - Jun. 9th, 2010 09:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 9th, 2010 02:45 am (UTC)
They are much more common than anyone thinks! When I first started studying to be a doula and added it to my profiles, I used to get fake pregnant chicks coming to me for advice about "birth talk" and then trying to fake out actual labor online. It was crazy. I got it A LOT all of the sudden, and I'm fairly certain that it wasn't just one person but several. That's when I started buckling down on the old privacy controls.
Jun. 9th, 2010 02:59 am (UTC)
Ugh. Some men!! WTF

At least it was a little less crude than what I got a few weeks ago, which was, "'ey yo shorty lemme be yo baby daddy! I'mma tap that ass and make a twin, no doubt!"

Jun. 9th, 2010 10:02 pm (UTC)
Eww! Couldn't he see the space was already occupied?
Jun. 9th, 2010 12:06 pm (UTC)
That's so nutty. I mean I know there are some men who really love pregnant ladies, but still!
Jun. 9th, 2010 09:56 pm (UTC)
Yeah. I'd heard that, too. This guy probably doesn't have much luck with the ladies, though, pregnant or not!
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