alycewilson (alycewilson) wrote,

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NaPoWriMo: Day 4 - A Series of Unlikely Explanations

As part of National Poetry Writing Month, I will be writing 30 poems in 30 days. I will try to write one each day, but if I miss a day or two, I will catch up on later days. Sometimes I will be following prompts; while other days will come from my own ideas.

I based today's poem on the prompt from, which was to write a poem with a title borrowed from one of the colorful ship names from Scottish SF author Iain M. Banks's works.

See if you can guess which ones are true.

A Series of Unlikely Explanations

My toddler smeared peanut butter on it
A witch turned into a frog, and it hopped away
A clown sprayed it with string confetti
I was accepting a Grammy
School children tied it to a balloon, and it flew to Iceland
The Supreme Court ruled it irrelevant
I couldn't think of a rhyme
A hobo stole it
I left it on the train... at Hogwarts
I was busy planning a flash-mob wedding
I am allergic to latex
For two weeks I had amnesia
My cat ate it
I was a victim of alien abduction and spent a month orbiting Mars
I was busy carving a stump into a bear with a chainsaw
My computer contracted Ebola virus
Sadly, I suffer from a medical condition that causes me to jumble my dachshunds
I coughed up a lung... literally
My computer ran out of "E's"
I accidentally recycled it
Elton John stopped by and wanted me to hang with him
I finished it, but it hailed a taxi and drove away
For the last six days I've been quarantined for rheumatic fever
The Easter Bunny hid it in a chocolate egg that I have only now eaten
My entire family moved to Hawaii without me
My source refused to talk unless I learned Swahili
I had a baby... two and half years ago
My computer switched to the Julian calendar, and I thought I had 13 more days
I was singing along to "Our Song" and forgot the words... all of them
My son's toys got in a fight, and I was brought in as the mediator
I was distracted by a Geico ad
I forgot how to read
My cat contracted food poisoning from eating the goldfish
I fell asleep
I was depending on Rumpelstiltskin to help me but he failed to show
I was stuck behind a really slow old man
There was a spider on it and I was afraid to touch it
I thought I'd written it, but it turned out to be a dream
A couple weeks ago I planted it, but it never grew
Neighborhood hooligans rolled it up and smoked it

And that, dear editor, is why
I missed my deadline

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Tags: napowrimo, napowrimo 2013, poetry

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