10) You would like to unravel the mystery behind the conspiracy of giant cow statues.
9) You are looking for holiday gift ideas (but want to try the book out free before giving it to anyone).
8) Learning that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 makes you feel oddly ebullient.
7) You like authors who know how to use the word "ebullient."
6) You love animals, especially funny stories about dogs (who are great roommates but tend to welch on bills).
5) You like a little introspection mixed in with your humor (fans of Erma Bombeck and -- to a lesser degree -- David Sedaris, come on down!)
4) I was one of your favorite competitors in LJ Idol seasons 5, 6 (as rivermirage), 8, Exhibit A or Exhibit B.
3) You have eclectic tastes in literature and love works that explore the beauty and humor of life.
2) You're a fan of pop culture, Zen Buddhism, and/or people watching.
1) You're a super awesome friend/acquaintance who would like to support me and get a peek inside this peanut-shaped noggin of mine.
If you do download the book, please write a quick review after reading it on Amazon.com as well as on Goodreads.com or other book review sites. Remember: A review can be basic -- just a rating and a couple sentences -- so it wouldn't require a lot of your time but could mean a great deal to me.
Please boost the signal! My goal for this campaign is to give away thousands of books. I'll post updates on my sales figures as they start to come in.