alycewilson (alycewilson) wrote,

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Nearly a year ago, I got the worst news that I could imagine getting: learning that my mom had died suddenly, just before Thanksgiving. I spent weeks walking around in a daze, barely able to sleep or eat, wondering what I could have done and if anything could have been done to change what happened. Over the past year, I've come to grips with a truth both difficult and comforting. You can not change the past, only move forward.

As difficult, as heart-wrenching as it was some days to put on my clothes, go about my daily activities, and take care of all the estate business that had to be done, I did it, believing I would heal, acting normal in the belief that one day, I would feel normal again. I'm happy to report that, most days, I feel very normal, indeed. While my mom is always on my mind, I am beginning to be able to remember her without bursting into tears. Sometimes, I even laugh.

The point is, as my husband, Mike, reminded me tonight, no matter what, we all still have each other. Don't forget that. Don't stop working for the things that matter to you.

In the past year, my family and I did things we never would have thought possible. We dealt with the heartache and disarray of my mother's estate, including my sister working tirelessly to rehouse dozens of cats. Both my sister and I have moved into better school districts for our children. My brother is an active role model for his two amazing children, one of whom just won a Veterans Day essay contest. My husband discovered long-lost family, and my recent genealogical sleuthing has provided facts to back up some of our most intriguing family stories. My son has joined Cub Scouts and is striving actively to live out its principles: to be helpful at all times, to be friendly, courteous and kind.

At my deepest emotional nadir last year, I never could have predicted where I would be this year. I only knew where I wanted to be.

Let hope flourish. Let us move on with dignity and determination. Let's all believe in and work for a brighter day.
Tags: deep thoughts, mom

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